Diversity in college essay

Read this sample college admissions personal essay on diversity or identity — " Give Goth a Chance" — and get a detailed critique with tips.
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In broader terms, however, all college admissions essays must accomplish a specific task: the admissions folks will be looking not just for good writing skills, but also evidence that the writer has the intellectual curiosity, open-mindedness, and strength of character necessary to be a contributing and successful member of the campus community.


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Carrie's essay succeeds on this front. In general, Carrie's title works fine.

Did you know your essay makes up 25% of your college application?

It clearly captures the subject of the essay — approaching Goth with an open mind. It's not a title that is highly original, and it isn't the best hook for grabbing the reader's attention, but it is still a solid title.

Carrie takes a risk in her essay. When you read advice about college admissions interviews , you'll often be told to dress somewhat conservatively, get rid of the pink hair and remove all but the most innocuous piercings. The danger of looking too far out of the norm is that you may encounter an admissions officer who isn't open-minded or who feels disturbed or uncomfortable with your appearance.

While you don't want to cater to people's biases, you also don't want to diminish your chances of getting into college. Carrie, however, isn't one to tone down her identity during the admissions process.

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Her essay blatantly states "this is who I am," and she makes it the job of the reader to overcome his or her preconceptions. There is a slight danger that she will get a reader who refuses to accept the "Goth" culture Carrie describes, but most readers will love the way Carrie approaches her topic as well as her straight-shooting style.

The essay has a level of maturity and self-confidence that the reader will find attractive. Also, the reader is likely to be impressed by the way that Carrie imagines her audience's reaction.

4 Ways to Nail the Diversity Question in Your Application Essay

She has clearly encountered prejudice before, and she preempts it when she imagines the admissions folks reading her essay. Carrie clearly shows how she will add an interesting and desirable element to the campus community. The essay demonstrates that she has thought about identity and diversity, that she is open-minded, and that she has a thing or two to teach others about their preconceptions and biases. She weaves in enough details about her passions and accomplishments to debunk any knee-jerk assumptions a reader might make about a Goth.

The "share your story" essay prompt is wonderfully broad, and it can lead to a range of topics. An essay on one's love of crafts to one's non-traditional home situation can all work with Common Application option 1. Carrie's essay approaches her topic seriously, but it also has a pleasing smattering of humor. Little phrases like "I don't do sun," and, "a tendency towards sarcasm" capture Carrie's personality in an economical manner that will also get a nice chuckle from her readers. In general, the essay has a great balance of seriousness and playfulness, of quirkiness and intellect.

The quality of the writing in this essay is superb, and it is even more impressive because Carrie is going into the sciences, not the humanities where we might expect to see stronger writing. The essay has no grammatical errors, and some of the short, punchy phrases reveal a high level of rhetorical sophistication. If you take apart the essay sentence by sentence, you'll notice a huge variety in sentence length and structure.


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The admissions officers will immediately recognize Carrie as someone who has a mastery of language and is prepared for college-level writing. The length of the essay is right near the word limit, but that's fine. Her essay is neither wordy nor repetitive. Carrie writes economically; every word counts. Think about the impression you have when you finish reading Carrie's essay. She is someone with an offbeat appearance, but she is wonderfully comfortable with who she is. The self-confidence and self-awareness demonstrated in the essay will certainly impress her readers. What is the trait about you that is different from others in the course?

How will you as a person contribute to the course? Is there something worth learning from you? MBA Application essay on Diversity is not just about race; here it is about geographic, socio-economic, cultural, religious, people with various disabilities. Read on to know how to write MBA application essays on diversity. Stuck with your essays? The reader should get more information when they read the whole essay and not feel tricked. As the information about other applicants is not known, deciding why one is unique is a difficult task.

Essays on Diversity

Physical achievements know no bounds, it can be a big feat for someone to go down the Grand Canyon but then there might be someone else there who has visited the Challenger deep. The uniqueness has to be about the person and their thoughts and the actions they have taken or the lessons they have learnt. It can be something as basic as philately, pottery, and origami or as big as participating in a Desert car rally. What is notable here is take-away of these activities. Teaching origami or chess to kids, or may be organising pottery workshops for old age home residents as a part of therapy and entertainment, counts towards diversity.

For that matter, a sports person, or someone who has learned a different language and experience the culture, or someone who plays in a band, anyone who has shown initiative in his life in however small a way matters. Before writing an MBA application essay, it is important to remember that business schools aim to create future leaders and are, therefore, looking for people with team skills and leadership traits.

go So, in case, you have climbed Mount Everest, which would be very good but if you have led your school group on a treasure hunt successfully or unsuccessfully also works. The aspect to focus on here is to be able to showcase how and to what degree the situations or challenges you have been in have affected or changed you, the changes can be positive or negative, or both.

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